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| jb says "don't i look alert here?" |
God I hate sitting behind this guy - I mean, I know I used to be a janitor but does that mean I should sit in the back? - shouldn't this guy be sensitive to that ?- God I want a drink - what is he talking about cutting off big oil - how the hell would I get paid? Jeez, now he's talking about education -blah blah blah - success isn't about fame - what is he - nuts? You think I suffered through all that sweeping to be an unknown mediocre golfer? - I DON'T THINK SO. No child left behind - he knows how I feel about children - he's just bringing them up to make me cry - You can't make me cry Mr. President guy. Now he's talking about some teacher wiping away tears like it's a good thing - where were you when I was getting my ass handed to me by Leslie Stahl over a little welling up? God this guy can talk - how long should this go on? Engineering, math - is everyone as bored as I am? Why do people need to train for careers? I mean, Jesus, if I can be speaker of the house what job could possibly require training? More with the children, with the college -why didn't I bring a flask?
Oh the President just made a health care joke - must make half-hearted smile - yeah, just in time for the cameras. Oh Christ, here he goes with actual stories about actual sick people -talk about obvious. If I'd known being Speaker would mean having to pay attention to this whole speech I'd have given it a second thought, and that's the truth. I have a reservation at the Capital Grille - not that he cares. Cuts - yeah right - like that's gonna balance the budget. Okay, it will, but only if you cut stuff for poor people. I mean, they're poor - what could they spend anyway? Cut defense spendiing - cut loopholes- this guy calls himself a golfer? I mean, any potbellied-over-tanned white guy knows that the essence of golfing is being to talk about the necessity of fighting wars none of you will have to fight and protecting the tax loopholes of rich guys you know whose club membership you want to enjoy. Some rich guy is supposed to give up a Sunday brunch so some poor kid can go to school? I don't get it. Compromise. Did he just say compromise? Didn't he watch my 60 Minutes interview? I don't believe in compromise. Is he using that word to make me cry? You can't make me cry Mr. President guy. If I was at the Capital Grille what would I eat? A New York steak, I think. Onion Rings. Veto earmarks. Are you batshit crazy? It's just something we all say. How do you think we get elected? Hey, Big Ears, how do you think we get elected? God, that was exhausting. Actually caring about stuff must wear you out. Here's some good news - he's aligning himself with war in Irag - things are good there - super, glad to hear it -bye bye blaming Bush and by the way - if I read the paper I'd know that this week in Iraq has been horrific but who reads the paper?...Now he's claiming future victory in Afghanistan - Good luck with that. I mean, we said it but to actually believe it? North Korea keep a commitment - mabye he took up the whacky weed after dumping the cigarettes - Tunisia, where the hell is Tunisia? A big standing O for the military. When did democrats get to invoke the military? This is so not fair. Name one other Republican who actually had to prove how much they supported the military when claiming they supported the military. Just me. God I'd like a drink. This is now over an hour. OVER AN HOUR. I'd trade places with anyone on earth who doesn't have to sit here Sweeping a bar is looking good right now. No, we don't have the same dream. My dream is that you shut up. Until you referred to me just now. Talk away, handsome man. Okay, enough, seriously I have scotch and steak waiting. Oh he's gonna tell a dream story. Shoot me now. Apparently miners were rescued in another country. They can't vote for me. Who cares? Cares...blahblahblahBigThingblahblahblahHopefulblahblahblah. Finally over. Thank you most merciful God.
