a little Christmas cheer

That's right, when I'm not grumbling about politicians I can be as jolly as anybody!

I love my tiny tree

A Right Wing Christmas - "Christians", "Children" & a load of cr*p

There's nothing like "the season of giving" to give those of us who follow such things a special insight into how completely out of touch, how completely clueless - dare I say soulless - many of our self proclaimed "Christian" leaders in Washington are.  Let us turn now to the steaming piles of empty rhetoric which have graced our airwaives in this week's lead up to the holidays, causing the uncomfortably nauseous feeling usually associated with that unfortunate last eggnog coupled with just one more cookie.  Daintily cover your mouth and move it away from polite company as you consider the following.

Senators Jim DeMint and Jon Kyle

chastising Harry Reid for making them work during Christmas.  The holiest time of the year. When they should be off.  To consider - you know - holy stuff. Jeez, guys, last I looked - Christmas is next week.  Christmas doesn't happen December 10.  I don't remember anything in the Bible about "and those elderly white men who would lead them, they shall spend 14 days and 14 nights among friends and family and financial contributors, and they shall drink brandy and smoke cigars and enjoy the fruits of pandering to the money lenders."  Also - exciting news - many of your constituents will be working on Christmas.  Take it from someone who spent the last 10 years in the restaurant business.  Who will those unfortunates be waiting on?  A lot of people like the aforementioned Senators who forget that Christmas is for everybody, and that taking the holiday off is a gift not a right, and who probably think their waiter is only there because he/she's an atheist.  Or a Muslim.  Or single.  You know, one of those people who don't deserve a holiday.  Hey Senators, I can't imagine you saying thank you to those plate toating heathens,but try not to forget to tip.  Better than 12%.

On a related note, aren't you people supposed to be driving the money lenders from the temple, not handing them the contents of the collection plate on the off chance they'll throw a little something to the slaves on the way out?  Just asking.

Let us now consider the sacred topic of children. 

Our children.  Your children.  The children of children's children.  More specifically the burden of the debt on future children in some future time which is you know, in the future.  So many on both sides invoke the children that I can't point a specific finger.  But I can suggest we take a minute away from these future children, generic children, all encompassing children to consider actual children -the ones who are here now.  Living in shelters.  Listening in the bedroom trying not to hear the panic in their unemployed parent's voice.  Telling Santa they just want their mommy to be well (and she could be - if Jan Brewer hadn't swiped her transplant $).  Children hoping that a ceiling tile won't fall on their head during math class.  Children who want to play music but that class is no longer available.  Children who'd like to have breakfast but are being denied government programs.  (How many schools have administrators who've turned down food for kids because "they should be eating with the family"  You don't want to know.)  Children who were brought here illegally as infants being told they don't belong in the only home they've ever known (Suggested remedy - let's drop John McCain with no I.D., cash, or a map deep in rural Mexico and see how well he fares - it is what he's suggesting for these kids).  So here's what I suggest - call them out.  If any politican invokes children but doesn't do everything they can for the actual kids in crisis - not the virtual kids they wrap themselves in - white or black, brown or yellow,young or old, right or left - You call them out. Vote them out.  And if you've got the opportunity - punch them out.

As far as the load of cr*p goes- I think it requires no illustration from me. And I will have a happier Christmas message when the actual day approaches.  Until then, keep your eye on Washington and the Ho, Ho, Hos

John Boehner - Sobber of the House

if you missed the weeping, click here...

http://www.cbsnews.com/video/watch/?id=7143552n

Remember when Hillary Clinton, after months of exhaustive campaigning, let down her guard enough to let a tear come to her eye? That brief show of emotion was analyzed, criticized, and alluded to as evidence of the questionable good sense of having a woman govern.  Women can be, after all, so damn emotional.  This was the fallout from one tearing up.  One.

Apparently not a problem if you are a midwestern male.  How else to explain the relative pass on crying given to incoming Speaker of the House John Boehner? His repeated tearing up on the House floor has been referenced by opponents and the media with both derision and amusement, but not to my knowledge as an indication that he might be unfit to serve.  After tonight's 60 Minutes episode, I wonder if that may change.



John Boehner teared up multiple times during his interview tonight.   He teared up so often I had to blink to make sure I hadn't inadvertently turned on a Barbara Walters special.    He teared up so much I began to suspect he may be seriously unhinged.

He teared up over the fact that he can no longer bring himself to visit schools because seeing those kids and knowing that he's responsible for their future....well, that just choked him up so much he couldn't even finish the sentence.  This information led me to a real understanding of why Boehner spends so much time playing golf.  The golf course, the clubhouse, the clubhouse bar - these are places you will pretty much never find children who might drive you into a  display of sentimental waterworks. 

He teared up thinking about the fact that as a kid he used to have to help his dad clean his cafe, and now he's achieved the American dream. The American dreams of leading the House of Representatives.  A dream that now allows him to  keep people who still have to work in cafes from earning a decent wage, affording healthcare, and - once that cafe closes in this god forsaken economy - receiving unemployment benefits.  No wonder Boehner tears up - he can only be thinking - there but for the grace of God go I.  Or there but for the grace of low income workers dumb enough to vote for me go I.  Or something like that. Anyway - Boehner is really glad he got out before he took over.  And he should be.

Maybe Boehner's just sobbing to beat the rest of us to the punch.  Because anytime I think of him equating himself to the American dream I know I find a tear coming to my eye.  Us women. We can be so damn emotional

The President is back!

whose office is this anyway?

Wasn't it great to see the President take charge of the press room yesterday, commanding and thoughtful, explaining clearly and precisely why he believes this tax plan - though flawed - offers the best economic stimulus and aid to the middle class and unemployed that we can hope for in the current economic and political climate?  Watching the President, it was clear he had given long and hard consideration to the many possible options and outcomes and truly believed that the current plan's benefits outweighed its flaws and was ultimately in the best interests of the country.  It was an appearance I found both informative and comforting.

No, I'm not talking about Barack Obama.  He left the press conference because he didn't want to keep his wife waiting at a Christmas reception.  He left the press conference to Bill Clinton.  Imagine Bill Clinton leaving a predecessor to speak for him in a time of national crisis.  Can't?  Me neither.

Am I misremembering here or wasn't part of Barack Obama's primary rhetoric about the importance of keeping the Clintons out of the White House? Think back - wasn't it something about hope, change, moving forward not backward?  But now, here we find him, a scant three years later, faced with a major insurrection within his own party, running for Clinton cover and out the press room door.

Aside from this rather astonishing hand off, the press conference provided from my point of view me a real understanding of why Clinton is so effective at communicating where Obama is not. When Bill Clinton speaks
you truly sense the hours he's spent studying a problem - you can imagine the spirited debate, stacks of informational materials, reviews of how other economies have handled, or not, a similar crisis.  You get the sense of the work involved in coming to the decision.  When Obama speaks I imagine a separate team quantifying data and reviewing polls and offering up safe, measured solutions that the President approves and then passes on to us, with the expectation that his considerable charm and obvious intelligence will convince us it's the way to.

What I don't get from Obama is the sense of a guy rolling up his sleeves and digging in.  In his many "legislative accomplishments" the hard work and heavy lifting have - from all appearances - been done by others, most notably Nancy Pelosi.  Think of all the stories staff and press told about Bill Clinton and his insatiable need for knowledge and debate - the staffers working til 3 am, the press who couldn't get a nap on the plane because Clinton wanted to play hearts and discuss the Sudan.  Or NAFTA.  Or history.  We never hear stories like this about the current commander in chief.

Now I  may be wrong.  Barack Obama may be the hardest working president we've ever had.  But I don't feel it from him and I don't see it.  I see a man giving speeches.  Making media appearances.  Spending far more time on the road than in the office. 

A lot of people  think that what Obama lacks is Bill Clinton's ability to feel our pain.   But maybe what he's really missing is Clinton's ability to make us feel his hard work and the time and thought that went into every decision - whether you think he's wrong or right - that he ever made for our country.

Silly things that make me happy

First in a continuing series of dumb stuff than makes my day.

I'd like to dedicate the first of these posts to the Beachwood Canyon Gelson's.  Gelson's, where life is orderly and clean and perpetually restocked.  Where the staff remembers me and says hello.  Where they remember everybody and say hello.  Because the guys in the seafood deparmtment are always teasing each other and laughing.  For the happy bonus that when I buy goodies in the deli and unwrap them from their deli paper, they have included a lovely resealable plastic baggie in exactly the right size for my sliced turkey.

Gelson's -an oasis of calm in an uncertain world.

Cheney indicted - in Nigeria!

That's right - the country that brought you millions of e-mails offering a bazillion dollar return on your investment if you'll just help a tribal prince get back to his country with a small loan is coming after Cheney for bribery.  Nigeria has figured out that Dick Cheney is a criminal.  Nigeria is ahead of the U.S. on this, probably because they investigated him, something the Obama administration is unwilling to do.



the new leaders in the search for truth!



The residents of the United States may be the only people on the planet who don't know we are no longer number one. The Chinese lecture us on our monetary policy and the Western world backs them.  South Korea finally agreed to a trade deal after a month of making us look like jackasses (70,000 U.S. jobs promised from this ass whipping - woo hoo - we need to create 150,000 jobs per month for new applicants to the jobs market - this before we make a dent in the numbers of the currently unemployed).  Russia trying to coax us into signing a nuclear treaty. It's only a matter of time before we're accepting aid from Albania.   Or at least asking for it.

But hey - we're still number one in two arenas - selling weapons of war and incarcerating our citizens.  Jefferson, Washington, Adams, Lincoln - they'd be so proud. 

jon stewart "likes" rachel maddow - who cares?

If you're a fellow media junkie, it's likely you've seen the conversation between Jon Stewart and Rachel Maddow in which Stewart reiterated his "Rally for Sanity" stance that MSNBC is the liberal equivalent of Fox News and Rachel gave a lot of factual reasons why he's wrong.  I'd take Stewart down myself but I'd be hard pressed to do it better than Bill Maher, so watch his spot-on analysis here...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qqjh6JyxOlk

At the end of the interview Stewart announces he "likes" Maddow.  Based on his regularly interrupting her, dismissing her notion that her bosses were "courageous" in employing liberal talent, and generally refusing to acknowledge that what she does is on another level than Bill O'Reilly he doesn't appear to respect her much but apparently he'd be willing to join her for a beer.  Rachel is extremely gracious but I think I'd have had to say - "Thanks Jon, I'm glad you like me.  But I have no idea what bearing it has on our conversation here".

I like a lot of people who I wouldn't want reporting the news or running the government.  I'm sure I've enjoyed  books and movies and paintings produced by people I wouldn't have over for Sunday supper.  When I was running restaurants I would frequently shock staff by asking them to do things like bus tables, or answer the phone, or pick up the napkin they dropped on the floor.  They would be stunned at being corrected.  After protesting this great injustice (bring bread to my table - that's the busser's job - oh, the indignity) they would inevitably follow it with "It's not that I don't like you", to which I would reply "You don't need to like me, you just need to do the job". Oddly, this simple statement of fact tended to make them like me. Whatever.

It's never occurred to me that my boss might worry whether I liked them or not.  He/she was my boss.  We weren't going for lunch.  That didn't mean I didn't have an opinion about them, but I knew it would have no impact on how they expected me to do my job.  I had an odd pre-election conversation with a member of the opposing party.  This person's contention was that no one should be able to critique an electoral candidate unless they have something nice to say about them first, to encourage more civil discourse.  Okay.  Carly Fiorina has super taste in blazers.  Too bad she paid for them by costing 30,000 Californians their jobs.  I could say nice things about Carly Fiorina all day long (oh, okay, I couldn't) but it wouldn't change my oppostion to her stances on the issues or make her qualified to be a senator.  It wouldn't alter the meat of the debate.

"Liking" and  "being nice" are not what's needed to restore discourse and start getting things done. Civility.  Respect.  Listening.  Hard work.  A little humility.  Old fashioned, maybe, but I think it's a good start.

embarrassing moment in "you like me" history

Maybe at the end of it we'll end up finding out we like each other better than we thought we did. But that's an end point, not a beginning.  Because as Jon Stewart helped  remind us last week, being liked isn't the same as being heard.

from the sublime of the series to the mostly awful with glimmers of hope

Yup, I'm talking elections.  The hope, of course, provided by the stalwart residents of California who cheerfully informed two millionaires that our state is not for sale.  Bye bye Carly & Meg.  Will not be missing your smug faces on my tv machine.  Also the happy news that Sharon Angle lost, meaning we won't have to build that border wall to protect us from a state crazy enough to elect her after all.  Christine O'Donnell - done -although she doesn't seem clear on the concept having immediately followed her loss with a call to her opponent telling him what his agenda should be and then advising her followers "we've got the room all night..plenty of food..let's party".  Of course, given the fact that the way she's been supporting herself for years is by being a candidate, maybe this was just her last chance at a free meal.  Are those napkin wrapped canapes I see in your purse?  Andrew Cuomo prevailing over the porno loving, baseball bat wielding Carl Palladino - should've been inevitable, but hey, I'm calling it good news.

Now the bad news.  A lot of people voted for the party that gutted the economy and outsourced our labor market in the confusing belief that they would restore our economy and improve the labor market.  I could go deeper but that's pretty much it in a nutshell.  Why.  Truthfully, I don't think people read enough.  And even if you do read it becomes unfortunately increasingly possible to only read (or listen to) people who think just like you do.  On the right and the left.  Opinion becomes truth and opinion requires a lot less effort and self examination than research and analysis and finding fact.  Also, I wonder if there's a sort of national Stockholm Syndrome afloat - people identifying with their captors.  They look at these not too bright, venal, wealthy "leaders" and think "Hey, I'm not too bright.  I can be venal.  Sure, I'm broke right now but if they can succeed, so can I.  What if I succeed and then I don't get away with all the crap they're getting away with because I backed some crappy financial reform bill. The hell with.  I'm rolling the dice on my chances. This is American, god damn it."  Sort of like the Scientologists who haunt the Celebrity Center near my house wearing psuedo military uniforms, smoking incessantly, and doing the bidding of the house of  L. Ron in the mistaken belief that one day they will wake up and be John Travolta.

In the wake of his success I was at first a little worried about John Boehner.  How will maintain his tan and his golf par with all of his new found responsibilites?  But then I realized it's no problem.  When it comes to legislating, he can text the word "no" from any ninth hole in the country.

we win!!!!

There are a lot of things to talk about with this win - how long the fans have waited, how quirky the team is, the genius manipulations of Bruce Bochy (a man with one emotion during a game - emotionless!).  But to me the real story of this team is that in an era where so much is driven by greed and ego and profit and endorsements and a sense of entitlement, these guys play because they love baseball and each other and their fans.

Can you think of a member of  this team who doesn't - in the first minute of an interview - begin immediately singing the praises of a teammate, minimizing their own contribution, shouting out to the fans. In the best possible way watching the Giants is like watching an unbelieveably talented high school team (and not just because a couple of our stars are barely out of high school) who are on the diamond because they can't imagine being anywhere else. Watching them you forget about the exorbitant salaries,manipulative agents, and whining prima donnas that too often are the story in the sport.  The East Coast elites who've dismissed this team all season missed the real story of this club, and an incredible opportunity to watch first rate, old school baseball in the process.

They should go ahead keep dimissing us.  Laugh at the beards, keep up the mock outrage over pot smoking in the bleachers, belittle the offense.  We've got the trophy.  But even better, unlike those cynics, we had us some fun.  Torture.  Mostly fun.  Is it spring training yet?

and so it starts

Yes, there is a lot going on in the world.  Elections, wars, terrorist special deliveries and all of this is important, I know it is.  But there is only one thing on my mind today and that is the World Series and my beloved, adored, extremely odd San Francisco Giants.